Very Special Kids Remembrance Day was held on Sunday 29 October.

The annual day enables families, volunteers and staff to come together to remember all the special children who have died.

For many families, Remembrance Day is an opportunity to honour and remember their child in a supported space with others who can understand some of their journey.

The Rainbow themed service was held in the beautiful Malvern Town Hall and concluded with a closing ritual and afternoon tea on the grounds at Very Special Kids.

Over 160 family members, along with 60 staff and volunteers were present on the day to remember children that died.

Beautiful words were shared through song, poems, and reflections by parents, siblings and guests, along with a slideshow of photos and candle lighting with rainbow coloured sand.

Families were then given the opportunity to leave rainbow coloured messages to their children in the tree’s at Very Special Kids along with the raising of a special banner which said ‘we love you, we miss you and you are always remembered’.

Afternoon tea on the front lawn provided an opportunity to refuel and connect with others in the warm sunshine. Families were then able to take home the special gift of a rainbow windmill to honour their child.

Thank you to everyone who attended and to Whirly Brighton, The Demon Army, Coloured Sand Australia, Malvern Police, Stonnington Council and all the wonderful volunteers for their support of such an important day.

As spoken on the day…
“It is understood that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of any storm.
When a rainbow appears it does not mean that the storm never happened or that we are not still dealing with its aftermath.
It means that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds.
Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of colour, energy and hope.”

Macey came to Very Special Kids in January 2016 for end of life care, when she was just 11-years-old.

We know bereavement embodies a whole spectrum of emotion across a lifetime. It’s ugly, isolating cruel and relentless. It can also incorporate joy, tenderness, beauty, growth and resilience. The deep suffering felt by families symbolises the canyon of love they have for their child. Below is a tiny snapshot of what this has been like for Macey’s Mum and Dad. We thank them for bravely agreeing to share what’s in their heart.

My beautiful daughter, Macey, was diagnosed with a brain tumor December 2014, and passed away on January 15th 2016, one day after her eleventh birthday.  In some ways I feel that parental grief is still new to me, but mostly, I feel like I have been trying to deal with this grief for a lifetime. Below is a list of five constants for me, five things about parental grief that if I could, I would tell the world…

1. Hearing my daughter’s name in conversations is like music to my ears; a sparkling ray of rainbow light on a cold, drab day. Macey’s horrendous journey of medical treatments and procedures, of sickness, pain and suffering took its toll, so much so, it seems surreal. I often find myself questioning if I ever really had a daughter, if Macey was ever really here? To hear her name tells me she was here! She was loved and she is remembered.
2. The overwhelming pain of losing Macey is heart wrenching and debilitating. There are times when I am so consumed with this pain that I cannot do anything but sit and cry. I do not want to go anywhere, or do anything or speak to anyone.
3. People no longer treat me as they used to. Neighbours will cross the street in order to avoid me, friends will not return my calls and there are old friends that we no longer hear from. I understand. I know this is because they find it difficult to speak to me. They don’t know what to say. They don’t want to upset me… But what they do not realise is that I am always hurting, I am always upset and to avoid me only adds to my hurt, my pain.
4. Some days are better than others, and it is difficult to predict how a day is going to turn out. However, there are special occasions when we know it’s going to be extra tough (Christmas, Easter, Birthdays, Anniversaries, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day). I am always grateful for a sign from loved ones to show that you have remembered us.  A telephone call, a text message can just lighten the heavy cloud of grief. It reminds us that we are loved and supported.
5. People often say to me, “Oh, you are so amazing, how do you manage to keep going; to get up every day?”  The truth is I am not amazing. I am a mother to another child, who needs me, even more so now that he has lost his only sibling. I get up every day and put on a brave face. I take him to school, kiss him goodbye, and I go off to work. What people don’t see is that I am pretending.  I am pretending that everything is ok, and that I’m ok. I need to do this for Henry, for myself, but most of all I need to this as a way of honouring Macey.
   -Veneta Braybon